This new person is uncharted territory

The truth is, this computer you're staring at is a window.Now you must flesh out your relationship.. It can be held, reread, smelled, slept with .Of course, you simply can't be a sociable single, let alone a serious mate-seeker, without the telephone. No anxiety about measuring up. In the end, you'll never really know someone until you've seen them stub a toe, spill a drink, get cut off in traffic, or deal with a crying child or naughty puppy.In the same ways that you've always been able to make good friends, find dates, and develop relationships. It can carry photos, pressed flowers, locks of hair. Sure; but don't forget-behind every cyber creep, there's a living, breathing body somewhere. Not to mention truly essential stuff—the kind of thing that can drive you crazy—like toothpaste-cap handling and blanket hogging .But you have an advantage.

 Maybe you've wondered whether this online dating thing will work for you at all. Through it, you can see people on the other side of the world as though they were no farther away than your own backyard. But if you try, you can also get to know people well, and even intimately. This is supposed to amplify to absurdity the importance of looks. You'll want to know how this potential partner treats you when you have a splitting headache or you burn the toast.In fact, misrepresentation seems particularly easy on the Internet, and predators abound.1 or later for this to work.

This new person is uncharted territory for you.Now, this is not the same thing as being separated from someone you know well: a boyfriend or girlfriend, a long-time lover, a husband or wife. Letter writing may seem old-fashioned, but what do you think e-mail is? Snail mail is slower, but it's tactile, sensual, physical. It can carry . You can draw the drapes whenever you want. You probably need to have Windows XP or Apple iChat AV version 2. At least, not entirely. And it doesn't even need a stamp. Somebody out there connects with your computer, and you feel that hopeful prickle: this is more like it! Then you wonder: now what? Is it possible to build a real-life relationship in cyberspace?Yes, of course. Better yet, voice-over-Internet protocol (VoIP) lets you to talk with people via your Internet connection-even dial-up-virtually anywhere in the world. Let me ask you: When was the last time you scanned a club or a singles bar, elbowed your buddy in the ribs, and said "Wow! Look at that one! So . You can collaborate with coworkers thousands of miles away, you can volunteer for charitable projects with other caring people, and you can explore your hobbies and interests with other people who share your passions.Now you realize that dating in cyberspace can really work after all. Of course, you'll observe all the proper precautions: meet in a public place, make certain that friends and family know your itinerary, and so on. Luckily, nature also gave most of us brains enough to realize that looks can be deceiving—in real life and, especially, in cyber life. You two have already shared experiences, situations, pleasures, and pains—you have a history to remember and build on. You've had some responses and sent some yourself, and maybe that little touch of thrilling possibility you felt with the first few hasn't tickled your fancy lately. 

you've discovered that you truly like this other soul, that communicating with each other makes you both feel good, you'll want to get together in real space. And online, at least, you have several layers of protection available. . You've already met, talked, traded jokes, learned whether you both hate beets or love to polka. kept in a special place.The first, gigantic difference is—unless you happen to live in the same city or are rich enough to hop a jet for a first date—there's no pressure to have sex before you're ready.jpgs and . Hey, it's almost like being there! Yahoo Messenger, AOL Instant Messenger (AIM), MSN Messenger, and Skype all offer video capability.The second huge difference is one that's often cited as a negative aspect of online dating: reliance on photos for first impressions.Use ALL the tools. . You're still behind that window. No pressure to perform.If you and your date both have webcams, you can add live, real-time visuals to instant-message chats or conversations.wavs. And you've discovered that you really like each other, enough to make plans.Now is your moment.Suddenly it happens. so average! I gotta get me some of that!"Nature programmed us to seek mates that look like they'll produce physically superior offspring. If you have cable access, you may be able to get a digital phone line that allows unlimited long distance calling for a very low monthly fee. You have the same ways to mess it up. .Online dating lets you relax, take your time, and get to know your date without the anxiety, self-consciousness, and noise and smoke of the singles-bar-and-club scene. Deceit online is tied directly to deceit offline. And no. But your computer is even better. . You can talk all you want, swap tales and jokes, share photos and your favorite music, lend books and borrow tools. As long as you both have computers and install the same VoIP software, you can be on opposite sides of the earth and talk all night, for free. No need to say no, maybe, or yes, or to regret it either way. E-mail is more spontaneous, easier to do, and it may even have spell check. And some fantastic tools to help you get it right and make it work better than ever. Maybe you've argued politics or confessed a secret desire to join the rubber electric wire circus. . You've massaged your profile till it zings, uploaded your most flattering photos, and viewed a thousand other posted hopefuls in your search for The One—or at least for some fun. .gifs and